the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
