Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
