Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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