it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
