Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
