So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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