i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
