we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
