So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When are your genitals available?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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