Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
