Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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