Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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