Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sext me about skeletons
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
