I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
