hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
