mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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