talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
