im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
