So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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