I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
