you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
