i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
