My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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