She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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