Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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