there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
