Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
