Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
