I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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