why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
