you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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