brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
