So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
