Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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