walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
