we have officially lost it.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
