He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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