Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
two words: eviction party
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
