There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
