i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
