you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
porn star boner night. come get it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
