listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
