You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
