I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
