i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
