What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
