I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im six kinds of drunk right now
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
