After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
