Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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