then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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